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The contradiction in life

I adore freedom. Last night, I shared a video from one of my favorite podcasters on Instagram.  It's about a girl who has travelled around the world for years, and her life has been my dream for a long time. I just hid the post because I'm afraid of hurting my husband's feeling.  Sometime I blamed him for my unhappiness of being trapped in this small place, however, this is all my choice. None of this is his fault. I chose him and I chose this life.  I chose a career that has no freedom physically-working at regular time, doing regular job and meeting regular people.  I chose to have a family with him, having two wonderful kids. I should be grateful and happy. But I am not.  I'm losing the opportunity to be a traveler since I'm getting older and I have my own duty.  I'm not physically free; I should find a way to feel free spiritually.   My life is in my hands. I love my family no matter what.   To travel is to find a way home.  The...